Notes from Palyne:

I'd like to thank the people who helped me think through much of this when I was going through it, such as Bill Heidrick and Peny North. Thanks to some of the people who provided accounts and questions in the book, such as Sylvia Dawn and Barbara Finney. I'd like to thank the original arch-skeptic John Ratcliff, who had the brains to truly study the subject with an open but critical mind, and come to some dramatically different conclusions. I was so nervous about admitting this stuff in public that I sent all my early accounts directly to him as a sort of "offense as defense" tactic, and he had the maturity to avoid stomping on me. It's partly thanks to his critical but intelligent responses that I decided my experiences were worth putting into context. I have to thank George O'Keefe and Lynn Bedri, who suffered through many of the letters and emails filled with this stuff, and are the reason most of it got recorded in the first place. Lastly, I have to thank the people who supported me getting it all written down and encouraged me, such as Richard Bach, Dave Caplan, Lynne Morgenthaler, John Dilbeck, and Lumir Janku.

Bewilderness was prepared as a "casual case-study" for a friend (Lynn Bedri) who is a counselor. Journals and letters from early 1993 to November 1995 were compiled, compared, integrated, and excerpted. The gathering of the materials and narration took place from May 1995 until December 1995. I put Bewilderness on the WWW around mid-1996, mostly because I was too lazy to print the whole thing to mail it to the person I wrote it for, so this seemed easier. The events in Bewilderness took place in southern California until the point of late March 1995, and then a few in Florida, Oregon and Washington.

From November 1995 onward, I've had only a few "interesting" experiences. Out of body experiences, psi, and a few 'visions;' but I have not had any of the truly mind-bending, seemingly-physical kind of stuff that went on as recounted in Bewilderness. As soon as I left Ventura County, California, most of it vanished. Even the positive things, as well as the weird things. Life suddenly became quite mundane. Not only did most interesting experiences disappear, but most of what I might call my "psychic awareness" vanished as well. Lucid dreams which I had constantly all my life vanished. Out of body experiences which I had in cycles, regularly, vanished. My memory, formerly pretty astounding, is not nearly as good anymore. My spelling is often phonetic instead of accurate, and other "right-brain" oriented changes. The breeziness of my reality -- convenient coincidence, amazing timing, luck, etc -- vanished as well. If anything I feel rather like I have devolved a few light years, but am not sure why. I usually don't even remember my dreams, let alone anything else.

I don't know why this stuff doesn't happen to me anymore. I don't know if it will come back. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I miss it. On the other hand, I do admit that I begged it to give me a break and let me rest for awhile. I've certainly had that.

On October 31, 1998, I was introduced to the topic of "remote viewing," and the U.S. government's involvement with that subject. Since that time I've become very interested in the subject, very involved with it in a few ways, and am pleased to call a number of people in the field friends. Some people tell me that they find it non-coincidental that I went from the experiences in this case-study into contact with intelligence men, government-funded scientists and psychic functioning. They feel all these things are related, as surely as 'the occult' and 'aliens' and 'shamanism' seem related. I don't know. I don't see how. Maybe eventually my experiences will be enough of a compilation in my journals and letters to create a "Book II" to follow Bewilderness.

I was born in September 1965 in Ojai, California, USA. I left college to get a job, and spent a decade in business management. Now I own a small web design business, which I began partly so that I could stay home with my child. I have a little girl, Rykah, born July 1996. I don't have much time for hobbies, though I am involved with the study of "remote viewing," and I read whenever I get the chance. Former hobbies such as creative writing and songwriting/music aren't really part of my life anymore. Perhaps in the future, if I get more time... I hope so. There is not much to say about me personally that seems all that interesting to me. I'm a pretty normal person, despite the odd experiences recounted in the case-study.

I get lots of letters from the public about this account. I am always glad to hear feedback, thoughts, and responses. Feel welcome to send email to me at: pj@paradigm-sys.com or pj@zmatrix.com.

For people such as psychologists who'd like to know a little more about me, you can find:
My business resume at:
My personal hobby page (on remote viewing) at:
My personal company's web site at:

Regards to all.

Palyne "PJ" Gaenir

"Bewilderness" title and text are Copyright 1993-1998 by Palyne "PJ" Gaenir. All rights reserved. Feel welcome to send me email -- I always appreciate feedback.