"The End of PJ Online."
Gaenir, List Owner" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Ref: Closure of VWR List, PSI List, Firedocs BBS, and withdrawal from participation in Web BBS's, Net newsgroups, et al.
[For those of you impatient, skip to the end of this message.]
It's been a long time since I began this email list, and longer still since I began my own inquiry into remote viewing.
Since November of 1995 until today, I have spent a good 5-6000 hours, or more, in one way or another toward RV.
I wanted to learn -- everything. About the science. The people. The history. The methods. Everything I could get my hands on. Anybody from the former gov't program who would talk to me. Anybody who might know anything about any aspect of it.
I transcribed most of what I heard. I dug through old media for info. I talked to journalists from the past. Provided info for journalists of the present. Spent money on web things, on various materials, on methods training.
And shared what I could of what I'd been learning with others. I told others whatever I knew, via private email (tens of thousands of emails, most general public inquiries), or via this group, web BBS's, internet newsgroups, telephone and even snailmail.
I have been, as my husband recently put it rather wryly, more obsessed with RV than I was with life.
I have also been at various times either miserably poor from spending my time on RV stuff (free) instead of work, or seriously overworked and neglectful of my family's need for my personal time.
I felt that things needed to be said, information needed to be available, and people needed some legit direction and alternative to the schizophrenics in the media claiming RV expertise. I would like to have seen someone else do this. Nobody did. Few people had even had time to really get a handle on the subject when I began communicating publicly about this. So, I figured someone had to do it, and for the time being, it just had to be me.
Having spent more than full time hours on RV for 2.5 years now, you may notice and find it odd that in the above paragraphs, I didn't mention anything about DOING remote viewing.
That's because I haven't had time. I've been too busy reading, posting, emailing, mailing, moderating, transcribing, telephoning, webmastering, counseling, advising, yada yada yada. I've only done cursory work in the practice area, because all my time was spent -- as a friend recently put it -- "trying to drag half the continent along" with me.
I have often been very frustrated about this -- which has shown up in my attitude on this list from time to time. Recently I realized you can't be a martyr if you're volunteering. So, that's my fault, not anybody else's, and I realize that.
My involvement in the field of Remote Viewing is the first time in my life I have done something with no particular end-goal. People have always asked me what my agenda was. I don't think I have one. I really want to learn. I really want to share what I've learned. I don't know of any personal goals beyond that.
The more I learn about RV, the more I feel it is not a 'thing' that you can simply learn and be perfect at like a math equation. It's not so much about a performance-duty as it is about yourself and your relationship to everything (particularly yourself). It is a "Way," in the martial arts sense. Something that if approached correctly becomes an integral part of one's life -- probably forever. Not an end destination. But a path you travel on just for the journey itself.
My approach to most things is to learn them like crazy intellectually and conceptually, and once I feel I know something about it, set up what seems like a valuable and properly done training situation for myself, and then finally jump in and do it.
I am now a walking encyclopedia not only on many aspects of RV and its people and history and methods and so forth, but on half a dozen different historical versions of each area as well. :-)
I could spend a lot more time on the science part, but most the people with the info don't really have the time to spend with me. And that will be learned as I go.
I have learned all I am going to learn about the subject from the approach I have been taking.
The only thing left for me to do is practice.
Being dedicated to the point of obsessive about most things, having time for a short session a week and no paperwork or journalizing is not enough for me -- or anyone really serious. And with a full time corporate job, plus full time hours for my personal business, a two year old child, a husband and (someday!) a life -- and on top of that, still lots of email about RV, and the two email groups (VWR and PSI) and trying to keep in touch in public areas about it and so forth -- I just flat out STILL do not have time to practice. And that's just RV; I have always been seriously interested in scrying and tantra as well, not to mention other much-neglected hobbies such as music and reading, and I'd like to put time into those.
But first, I need time to practice RV.
So I am making time.
I am closing the VWR list. I am closing the PSI list. I am closing my BBS. And I am withdrawing entirely from the online world of remote viewing, including web and net communications, and including most email, except with people I am already acquainted with, or have referred me by people I know, or people with a question not already answered on my web site.
It is a self-imposed exile. I don't want to talk about this any more until I am more experienced and proficient in doing it.
As a sort of parting gift to those always begging for info, I will be posting (against protest of course) the original military CRV manual on my Firedocs web site.
I will also be posting a number of informal but hopefully informative FAQ, Q&A, terminology and editorial-type files on my site.
Probably the only regular updates I will make to the web site are occasional articles about my practice sessions, with scanned examples and talk about what I'm learning. I will gradually archive all the VWR stuff to its end point.
The last day of VWR and PSI list operations will be July 3rd. The CRV manual and other items will go up on my web site by July 5th. (Part of July 4th I am taking as a vacation day just for ME.)
Since my personal method for RV is not exactly CRV, despite that that is where I began in my studies, and since my time spent on this subject has, de facto, made it a big part of my identity -- a part of myself -- I see this breaking off as a sort of "independence" issue. I've wanted to do this for a long time, but it's been a difficult decision for me to make. It is giving up my feeling of being involved, my feeling of being valuable to the cause, and giving up things I have put a lot of hours and energy into creating and maintaining.
I believe that finally (and partly thanks to my own efforts, I say unabashedly!), this field has grown enough that my own involvement in it is no longer needed. I might be useful, but I am no longer necessary. My web site will still exist as a reference resource, but my other areas of focus will eventually be taken over by others who have the knowledge, enthusiasm, persistence and spare time.
I appreciate the participation of people on this list, which has made its life -- just over a year now in the present format -- possible.
I particularly appreciate the participation of Joseph McMoneagle, Paul Smith, Lyn Buchanan, "Liam," Gene "Kincaid," and the very occasional participation of Greg "Sloan" and Russell Targ. The experience and expertise of these gentlemen has made the value of my list -- as a resource both live and archived -- possible.
I wish you all well.
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