REMOTE VIEWING

Awards Categories

www.firedocs.com/remoteviewing/humor/


It was July, 2002. I had come back into the "online RV field" after four years out. I had dedicated a huge block of time solely to catching up on four years of archives--of "what went on while I was gone." It was depressing, and my emotional defense was to get very, very black-humored about everything. This is one of the results. Posted on the stargate list way back then. -- PJ


Introducing The RV Annual Awards & Presentations!

The Categories Are....!

Most impressively reinvented history

Most outrageously advertised aliens

Most creatively predicted ways for mankind to die

The most intellectual discourse on something unproven

Session which most accurately describes the largest number of totally different targets

Sketch which can be best used for any target depending on orientation it's displayed in

The method with the most impressive number of anal retentive left-brain grids to keep viewers at least 9 focus levels above any truly decent target contact

The school with the most students willing to go out onto the internet and defend Their Fearless Leader

Most brief 'extensive, intensive training'

Most free media granted for the least amount of demonstrated skill

Most expensive 'secrets' based on a free public manual

Most fun methods (I vote for Courtney's MASSAGE method lol)

Most future predictions based on previously documented trends in science journals

Most creative approach to using RV to excuse obvious personality disorders

Most people banned from a group chat/bbs for asking any remotely intelligent question

Most aliens encountered in bathrooms, closets and other unusual guest rooms

Most success in frightening the public into buying RV products

Most brave appearance in public despite previous image annihilation

Most actual layman's research done despite lack of funding or recognition (a rare good one!)

Most growth in understanding methodology despite lack of response from teachers who already got their money

Most impressively detailed session on the Astral Galactic Hall

Most tenuous link of approval from Our Beloved Ingo The Swann

Most radically revised methods still sold under the same Acronym as the original

Most publicized number of RV search-targets which have never, ever been found

Most impressively intoxicated public lecture regarding RV

Best quality competitor-slandering web pages hosted under someone else's name

Most "live demos of proof" done with someone involved who already knows the target

Best backstepping done to pretend old predictions of Pregnant Aliens Coming Out of the Mountain never happened

(Keeper of the Flame Award:) Most impressive claim to expertise based on someone else's teachings

(Holy Roller Award:) Best example of tying aliens, christian armageddon and planetary doom together in less than one session

Most artistic Save-Your-Children, Buy-My-Methods presentation

Most disorganized RV effort in an organized meeting held by an organization

Best severely frontloaded targets with indistinct feedback to make EVERYONE feel psychic

Best packaging of widely-applicable descriptors for preselected- targets in a saleable product

Best organized group effort at heckling competitor's RV presentations

Largest number of harassing lawsuits filed against competitors, coworkers, contractors, licensees, employees, employers, affiliates, and anybody else who might have any money, to sponsor continuing RV Media Dominance

Least bragging done about the most actual RV for-hire projects (a good one!)

Most bragging done about the least actual RV for-hire projects

Best Lordly Dismissal of a Lesser Mortal with an RV question

Best armchair critique of someone else's public session

Most ruthless attempt to steal another Viewer's RV clients

Most paranoid story about star gate intelligence men and psychic warfare

Best new rendition of the tale of the Russian Psychic Spy Who Saw the American Psychic Spy

Oldest session done by someone else now used as an example by the most others for their totally unrelated claims

Most creative new story of Instant-RV-Skill-Via-Alleged-Near-Death-Experience

Most convincing RV project presentation on the Reptilian-sponsored political 'Replacements'

(The Clinton Award:) Most unbelievable example of Viewer death-by-natural/accidental-causes

Most stargate intell men slept with in the hopes of acquiring RV omniscience

Most frightening theory about the Viewer Heart Attack Syndrome

Most conspiratorial session results on The Truth About Pat Price

Rich K. Added:

Most appearances on night time radio.

Most unfinished publicly shown projects.

Largest file drawer.

Best RV board game.

Largest number of contemporaries still in the closet.

Largest closet.

Method with most number of stages.

Method with least number of stages.

Coolest organization name ( I vote for Mt Baldy Institute).

Most underground bases located.


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