|It was July, 2002. I had come back into the "online RV field" after four years out. I had dedicated a huge block of time solely to catching up on four years of archives--of "what went on while I was gone." It was depressing, and my emotional defense was to get very, very black-humored about everything. This is one of the results. Posted on the stargate list way back then. -- PJ|
Introducing The RV Annual Awards & Presentations!
The Categories Are....!
Most impressively reinvented history
Most outrageously advertised aliens
Most creatively predicted ways for mankind to die
The most intellectual discourse on something unproven
Session which most accurately describes the largest number of totally different targets
Sketch which can be best used for any target depending on orientation it's displayed in
The method with the most impressive number of anal retentive left-brain grids to keep viewers at least 9 focus levels above any truly decent target contact
The school with the most students willing to go out onto the internet and defend Their Fearless Leader
Most brief 'extensive, intensive training'
Most free media granted for the least amount of demonstrated skill
Most expensive 'secrets' based on a free public manual
Most fun methods (I vote for Courtney's MASSAGE method lol)
Most future predictions based on previously documented trends in science journals
Most creative approach to using RV to excuse obvious personality disorders
Most people banned from a group chat/bbs for asking any remotely intelligent question
Most aliens encountered in bathrooms, closets and other unusual guest rooms
Most success in frightening the public into buying RV products
Most brave appearance in public despite previous image annihilation
Most actual layman's research done despite lack of funding or recognition (a rare good one!)
Most growth in understanding methodology despite lack of response from teachers who already got their money
Most impressively detailed session on the Astral Galactic Hall
Most tenuous link of approval from Our Beloved Ingo The Swann
Most radically revised methods still sold under the same Acronym as the original
Most publicized number of RV search-targets which have never, ever been found
Most impressively intoxicated public lecture regarding RV
Best quality competitor-slandering web pages hosted under someone else's name
Most "live demos of proof" done with someone involved who already knows the target
Best backstepping done to pretend old predictions of Pregnant Aliens Coming Out of the Mountain never happened
(Keeper of the Flame Award:) Most impressive claim to expertise based on someone else's teachings
(Holy Roller Award:) Best example of tying aliens, christian armageddon and planetary doom together in less than one session
Most artistic Save-Your-Children, Buy-My-Methods presentation
Most disorganized RV effort in an organized meeting held by an organization
Best severely frontloaded targets with indistinct feedback to make EVERYONE feel psychic
Best packaging of widely-applicable descriptors for preselected- targets in a saleable product
Best organized group effort at heckling competitor's RV presentations
Largest number of harassing lawsuits filed against competitors, coworkers, contractors, licensees, employees, employers, affiliates, and anybody else who might have any money, to sponsor continuing RV Media Dominance
Least bragging done about the most actual RV for-hire projects (a good one!)
Most bragging done about the least actual RV for-hire projects
Best Lordly Dismissal of a Lesser Mortal with an RV question
Best armchair critique of someone else's public session
Most ruthless attempt to steal another Viewer's RV clients
Most paranoid story about star gate intelligence men and psychic warfare
Best new rendition of the tale of the Russian Psychic Spy Who Saw the American Psychic Spy
Oldest session done by someone else now used as an example by the most others for their totally unrelated claims
Most creative new story of Instant-RV-Skill-Via-Alleged-Near-Death-Experience
Most convincing RV project presentation on the Reptilian-sponsored political 'Replacements'
(The Clinton Award:) Most unbelievable example of Viewer death-by-natural/accidental-causes
Most stargate intell men slept with in the hopes of acquiring RV omniscience
Most frightening theory about the Viewer Heart Attack Syndrome
Most conspiratorial session results on The Truth About Pat Price
Rich K. Added:
Most appearances on night time radio.
Most unfinished publicly shown projects.
Largest file drawer.
Best RV board game.
Largest number of contemporaries still in the closet.
Method with most number of stages.
Method with least number of stages.
Coolest organization name ( I vote for Mt Baldy Institute).
Most underground bases located.
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