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Journal [Oh Isis]

{December 1994}

In a vision... there is an excavation going on. A man joins the team as leader and begins digging into the ice, chopping with a big blade thing. He looks up, and I realize I am "watching a movie." The man flashes between an actor, someone else, and a man familiar but I don't know. I say, man, he must've been cold filming this scene! And he continues to dig. Then I realize, oh yeah, it's the blonde-me, of the four! And the movie symbology vanishes as I realize his identity (as usual).

He appears to be on the edge of something, perhaps a cliff, breaking big vertical sheets of ice off going inward, then sheets off the top, and it's clear he is looking for something that he knows is there, and he knows where. He digs with a passion, and once he looks up and looks into my eyes, and I realize that he deeply loves whatever he is digging for.

Next scene, not entirely linear sequences in this dream: I am looking downward into this incredibly deep rectangular hole, and it's clear that it's the end of the excavation and they/he (another man had been somehow simultaneously him while he was digging) found what they were looking for. It is a huge, gold sarcophagus, it seems rather Egyptian to me (well actually, I've never seen a sarcophagus from anywhere else, so that might be an assumption). (What it is doing under ice on the side of a mountain or something is beyond me.) It seemed pretty darn large to just hold a normal corpse, at least from above.

Wandering around the bottom area, standing next to the case in the big hole, is the blonde man and one other person, a man, he was familiar but I couldn't place who it was. I "join them" in perspective, I'm not sure if I was standing down there too, or if I merely "joined them" literally and saw from their eyes, I think that was it. They are talking about the person assumed to be inside the case.

And suddenly behind them/us is this woman. She is really tall and has long dark straight hair, and is completely nude. We are surprised and yet somehow not overly surprised, simultaneously. I think maybe we were merged, and I was surprised and they weren't, so I got both feelings. She indicates it is her that has been [in the gold sarcophagus] until now. One of us said or thought (I think it was me), Well is she dead then? And she says something like Well... [I don't remember the words] in a manner leading me to realize that either the death of her once physical body is completely irrelevant, that she can manifest physically if she wants... or she never actually was dead, she was more like in stasis... either way, she just needed to be freed from the ice over her, by us, a part of her.

And it seemed that her death was also somehow symbolic more than literal. And she says something like, it was specified that a certain number of years she would remain [dead? pretending death? identity frozen below the surface, unaware of her True Self? symbolically hidden? I'm not sure], and the original date was that she had eight more years to go. I interpreted this to mean that either (a) something had changed and she was now freed early; or (b) she would be wandering around for as long as another 8 or so before something specific happened according to the "timeline" created at the time of her "agreed upon and deliberate bondage." (Not like "eight years before something happens" but rather "eight years until the specified time for her biggest role in time occurs.")

(The woman I now realize -- I did then, but dimly -- is the same as the woman in dreams I regularly have where the four of us merge; the same woman in the Egyptian Room dream. The man digging was the blonde-me. The other man was the highest of the four. I'm not yet integrated with him and don't see him well.)

Then another scene, there are additional people in a very large room that this woman is brought into. The man who was with us at the edge of the case is now sitting in a chair or throne like he's some kind of authority. The blonde man and I stand beside him. She stands before us, unashamed of her nakedness and with a solid, self knowing attitude that makes people seem unaware of the fact, a conceptual "cloaked in authority" type of thing.

The man on the throne asks her her name. She throws her shoulders back, her head back, and she chants in almost a shout some incredibly long word. Across her breasts, just at the top/above them, from one side of her body to another, appears this long word in some strange alphabet, which I took to mean, this was her name... it was written in gold light.

I realized suddenly that she was damn powerful and something I might call spiritual royalty. I was in awe.


{Stanza from a poem I wrote age 17, 1982}

Silver laughter you command with
Other gods I would be damned with
But I'm walking hand in hand with
Golden Goddess
Love and Isis in my eyes


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