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Journal Excerpt [the guardians]

{May 1995}

Yesterday I got off my duff and meditated for what seems like the first time in eons. I had been complaining to L. about these "blocks," you know. It's almost like one of the inherent qualities of the blocks is to distract you from anything to do with them, like you focus toward them and you just... slide right away. I have a lot of things I try to think about, experiences, that I just... can't.

I did an archetype meditation on a block and felt much better. I couldn't tell what was behind it; childhood things, some of them, but I didn't know what; the block and everything behind it was totally disgusting, slimy and grey-brown (with dust?), and the block itself and every component behind it had to be cleaned and healed and restructured before it was over, it took awhile.

Last night I fell into an OBE. I had just laid down a few moments before when I "fell out of my body." The following seemed to come first before the rest, but later I wasn't sure. Somehow I "learned" this. Don't laugh... ok, go ahead...

In the midst of (Egypt?) lies a vast underground section -- almost a city. I know we recently discovered a room under the Sphinx's paws; but this is much deeper, and extremely large. People here [on Earth] may know, someday, though they'll likely never find their way down; but they will eventually find wells, in the upper underground, that go much deeper, almost impossibly deep.

There is a way to open the whole area up; it requires a simultaneous movement of three or four objects in different places, though, that surround the opening area, and we don't have the technology, even if we knew the method, and the "things" used to open it from the outside are either buried or unknown to us anyway. It will open of its own accord when it is time, but that is quite some time away.

They assume. The beings who think of themselves as "The Guardians" live there. [Predictable sci fi music here... but no kidding, that's a very good translation of the feeling I got.] Not necessarily, mind you, "protectors of humans" that wasn't the feeling; Guardians of... Earth. Maybe the planet as a property is a better description.

In OBE-astral, I'm looking for them. I'm looking with my mind and feel calmly certain I can find them. I find myself flying through what I note is a "government warehouse." (How would I know?) It is big beyond the wildest imagination of such a building, ridiculously large, possibly underground as well [or below something; but not the same place as in Egypt]. It is secret. In it is contained many things for investigation or deliberate hiding. Most things are in boxes, some the size of freight cars or larger but some are simply strange shapes that stand alone. Near the very back of the building, a huge shape that looks somewhat like a gigantic mutant beetle made of an unknown dark dull metal substance stands.

I realized that despite the odd looks, this was an actual "ship" by my definition; anyway, it traveled, carried people. I realized it was the same kind as could be found underground in Egypt as well; they were the same people. [It "matched" what I now "knew" from the education.] It seemed inert, dead, a weird hunk of something from the outside, but I knew there were beings in it, quite alive. I understood I was in an OBE, but that didn't make any of it seem less valid; I understood I had to be, to find them, that was the whole point. I noted that since I was astral I was pretty much free to do as I pleased, unlimited by space. So I projected myself inside the thing. I don't remember what I saw, but I do know that it was vastly bigger inside than outside. (This is all so predictable it's embarrassing, I know...)

Next thing I knew, I was in a chair, watching a screen. The screen was detailing the history of the people, or some such thing. It then showed them visually. Their skin was light sand tan colored, rough like an iguana, in individual patterns; their eyes had vertical, cat pupils; they were humanoid. I recognized then that this was like the memory I'd had long ago; the one where I had never been sure where the memory came from. But the memory was clearly of one of these people, and I understood then why I'd been looking for the people: I'd just "unlocked" some portion of the memory, with my meditations that touched on well-blocked childhood memories.

I became aware that while I had been watching, life as normal was going on. I wanted to see and meet someone. I found myself at an open doorway, and I stood in the doorway and looked in. A number of them were seated at what would translate as visual consoles. It was almost dark; the "screens" had some light , but not bright light. I suddenly realized that this thing, this ship, was quite active.

I had assumed it was in storage, put there by the government or something; I realized at that moment that whether or not the foregoing was true, they were there by their choice. Perhaps the government had or had not stashed it here, it seeming inert, or maybe the vastness and secretiveness just made them able to use the building as some kind of safe base; in any case, it was clear conceptually that the ship didn't require a landing strip, it traveled in some sense where all that was unnecessary, and so they were as happy to remain here just as safely ensconced as the others are under Egypt (but this was in the USA, was my impression) for now. They left whenever, and went wherever, they wanted anyway.

My eyes were either adjusting to the light, or astrally darkness doesn't matter, I don't know which. But after a short time I could see a little better. The folks sitting looked up at me, and regarded me silently and calmly as I stood there. They didn't seem threatening. I looked at one of them, at the nearest console, closely. I noted that he was younger than the guy I had encountered before, or some difference I couldn't place; maybe feminine, his face just seemed sweeter. The face had a few less spiny ridges, the skin was smoother and a bit lighter in shade, and the eyes (and those of the others who were looking at me, close enough for me to sort of see) were not nearly the shade of the fellow I met. (His were shocking orange as I recall; theirs were... I'm unclear on the shade. I can see it, I just don't have a word for that color. "Neutral but a color" is the best explanation.) Perhaps it was just lack of light, because this new fellow's pupils were nocturnally widened; it was very dim in the room, and the pupils had widened toward round, though their vertical-ness was still apparent.

Remembering that they were telepathic (my only clear memory, besides the face, of the earlier meeting), I wondered if I could talk to them. Granted, I told myself, you are in astral here, but I figured, all the more reason why I should be able to. So I closed my eyes to focus better, and imagined myself "in" the fellow, merging as part of him, to communicate with him; I put it like a question; he didn't seem threatening, and I was genuinely curious.

I opened my eyes and looked at him; he looked at me; he agreed, I agreed, and we sort of fell into the eyes [typical of most TP experiences]. I got this massive rush of feeling that hit my physical body back home. I could feel my body literally shaking with the rush, trembling as I lay on the floor, so intense I could feel my body gasping in its out-of-it state... but that part of me felt a zillion miles away.

But that's where it ends; I don't know where I was or what I experienced during our time together, sorry, no memory (nada zip zero it is GONE). Makes me SO mad! Gods, I hope he didn't reblock anything in my head, took me decades and hard core meditation to get rid of the first block! And then, what felt like "later," I found myself outside the big shape again; they had "put me down" and "put me back."

I felt they'd been nice to me, showed me what I asked, and were done now, they felt I should go home. Again I flashed on the Egypt setting and wondered if I had actually been shown that in the "education" or if it really had come before seeing the craft; I wondered if it were possible that the whole experience had been designed for my education, as opposed to my "by chance" coming upon it or finding them. Then I "knew that there was no difference: we were connected and had always been."

There is no indication of gender in any entity, I say "his" for ease. I only noted their faces; bodies were peripheral. Humanoid, except the cat eyes and lizardish skin and no hair. It seemed they'd been tolerant of me in the craft because they were quietly resting and doing work in this cavernous warehouse; I had the strong feeling I was a momentary novelty for the crew. I almost had the "sweet kid" feeling, like a stray kitten invokes. Though novelty, curiosity, even positive-ness and such feelings don't necessarily imply emotion as we know it.

I recognized that I have no bad feelings toward those people. I had thought, after uncovering the original memory some years ago, that they were "bad guys," since I felt incredible fear; and then later I heard of something perhaps similar to them, and they apparently have a lousy reputation in the UFO field. The brief flash of memory I have was accompanied by sheer terror, granted, but it was also accompanied by a warm, deep, telepathic bonded knowing. This "dream" made me realize, however, that they are not my enemy (or if they are, have convinced me otherwise very well thanks), and that I don't have feelings of fear of them. That's kind of nice.

But what a totally stupid set of imagery! Stupid! Gads, I'm so embarrassed, good grief, I'm afraid to even tell anybody this one. I could be wrong, but I bet they've searched the ground under every part of that section of the planet for lost pyramids and such, and I'm sure they'd have found such a place under the ground by now, wouldn't you think? Could it be in astral? (It is certainly MUCH "deeper" than anything currently existing to my knowledge.) But "the Guardians?" Oh please. They could at least be original, a little more creative. Why on earth would they tell me all that junk?


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