PJ's Personal Archives

The Mirrors

First written down about a week after it happened; posted publicly on the old Firedocs BBS in Feb 1998.

It was around November 1996. I decided to take a shower in the evening hours, and I'd taken my clothes off. My hair was getting long then, so I was leaning over sideways brushing it. I was looking at my hair in the mirror (which is over the bathroom sink), which comes down to about chest-level.

I suddenly noticed that my eyes seemed unusually golden.  A few times in the past this has happened. The brown will seem oddly "backlit" and the gold part becomes more obvious.  It is actually startling even to me, this "light" in the eyes, and others have commented on it.  It had only happened a few times, and had always been when I had felt very "tuned in" spiritually... I had considered since some entities seem to have rather bright eyes, perhaps it was just a signature of that (too much time in the astral plane or something).

But I could see no reason for my eyes to look like that right then. I'd been tuned out of anything psi for a long time. I studied the RV topic but other than dreams, my life was amazingly dull, mundane, nothing but work and just another day.  The golden struck me as interesting in a curious, I-wonder-why sort of way, and I ceased brushing and leaned forward toward the mirror to look closely at my eyes, wondering.

And my face began to change. My stomach tightened as my breath caught, and I froze, just staring. It almost seemed to flow. Slowly. Steadily. The structure was shifting. I can't say it was overtly physical. I don't mean my hair or eyes changed color, or anything like that. It was like the bone structure of my face began to "change its relationship to itself."   I had only seen this happen to somebody once before -- years before, I had seen this occur with a deep trance channel. At that time, the visual had disconcerted me so strongly that I was uncomfortable for a week afterward.

I was in too much awe and surprise to do anything but watch.  My eyes seemed to get more deeply set. A bit wider apart. The space under my cheekbones got more hollow. My cheekbones themselves got a bit higher, and much sharper. My lips and nose both thinned. I was frozen. In awe. In fear. In confusion.

I kept thinking, I have to be imagining this! As my face continued to morph I began to realize, though, that it was really happening. That perhaps it WAS just my perception, OK, fine, but it was as real to my vision as anything else. My face continued to shift subtly, as if the bones were getting more comfortable under my skin in a new position. I don't remember physically feeling anything. I could simply see it.

This probably took about 8-10 full seconds to occur.
Anybody who's been to a rodeo knows how long 8 seconds can be.
And then it seemed complete.

I stared at my face in awe. I think my mouth opened slightly. It was so different.

It wasn't just different. It wasn't me.

I abruptly realized that I was looking in the mirror at somebody I had never seen before. Not a version of me. A completely different person. A man. In his late 40's or early 50's.

I began to get conceptuals then.

He was hard, psychologically. A little cold and mercenary. Very smart. Ruthless. I stared at the face. Thin and a bit predatorial. Quite unlike my own soft face.

And then I made the mistake of looking back at my eyes again.

He could see me.
I could see him.
He saw me looking at him and knew that I saw him.

Knew that I knew that he knew, and so on. A psychic version of looking into endless facing mirrors.

Suddenly the whole impact of recognizing his sentience, his foreign-ness in my face, and all the related emotions hit me at once.

I screamed! -- and literally dived out of the way of the mirror.

I stood around the corner in the hallway with my back to the wall, hyperventilating. I wondered if it were possible such a strange experience could be real.   How could it be possible to see another person in my face?  Actually, that part was incredible but, I considered as I stook there, I'd actually heard of that happening in certain kinds of scrying.  But more astonishing to me was, how could I sense so much about him?? 

Gathering up my courage I stole back and peered around the corner. Just quickly enough to look in the mirror. It seemed as if he were still there -- yet fading; my face looked 'half and half' between us. I pulled back out of sight of the mirror again and thought. If I could hallucinate something so strange, why would I? And why would there be such concepts along with it?

I felt pretty clear about his intent.  He was just 'checking me out.' My impression was that if I met this man in person, I would think to myself, This man is an assassin. And yet, I didn't have the sense that he had any bad intentions toward me. Or good, for that matter. My impression was that he was simply gathering information about me. Getting the feel of me. Feeling inside me, seeing what I was like. Like it was a job. Not like he had any personal motivation for doing so.

I peered around the corner again and into the mirror. He was gone. It was just my own face. So I went back into the bathroom and stared at my face for a few more moments in the mirror. It looked perfectly normal. I thought, "How strange!"

And then I took a shower. I mentioned it to a friend or two in email right after that. But I figured, it was just an "anomalous experience." I've certainly had unexplainable things happen before (anybody who's read Bewilderness knows this is little stuff compared to some of that!).  I've long ago given up insisting there be a logical explanation for everything.

So at that point, I really just didn't give it any more thought.

It was nearly a year later that Patrick* (*an alias), a fellow interested in remote viewing, finally caught up with me. We'd been trying to get together for months, but time, space and circumstance had never allowed it before. I was traveling and he stopped by for a visit.

He was a real potential for the remote viewing field. He had brains, money, discernment, and he was sane. He had a business and contacts that could provide potential funding or support, at least management of something "real" for the field. That could find real applications, that could be more important and effective than the various little one-man schools, most of whom were part-time, under-funded, or too cosmic for business.

So, I considered him an important "potential" for the field. Who knew what the future might bring, someday down the road, with someone who really understood RV and had the ability to put it into a constructive situation? He was aware of my personal research and work and communications in the field, and he knew that I was in some ways 'in touch' with many aspects of the subject and viewers and students. So we had a mutual interest in meeting each other and talking about RV and so on.

Patrick's the kind of person who doesn't say anything without having chewed it over in his mind at length. Speaks carefully and quietly, as if he is spell-checking each sentence before he releases it to you. A wealthy businessman, he is conservative and intelligent, and seems a decent human being. He's the sort of person that I took pretty seriously. He was of average height, and I guessed (wildly) he was in his late 30's or early 40's. Trim, seemed very healthy. My gut-instinct was to trust him.

My impression from talking with him via phone and email prior to meeting him was that he was uncomfortable exchanging personal or important information through those mediums. You know, some people feel like it's not ... secure. I didn't know why he'd feel like that. He didn't seem paranoid to me otherwise, but how would I know. But anyway, he clearly was uncomfortable, and had said he really wanted us to meet in person.

We ditched the class and had a bite to eat, and went walking around the grounds of my hotel. Patrick said he had something he wanted to talk with me about that he hadn't wanted to do via email or phone. He didn't know what to make of it, he was a little disturbed about it, but he really wanted an objective opinion. He clearly thought he had something unusual, as if he was a little nervous about telling me lest I think him crazy or something. (The guy seemed the benchmark of "respectability," so that was unlikely.)  It was obviously something important to him. I was thinking, "He is going to tell me about some experience he had during remote viewing practice."

But as it turned out, this was an experience that happened to him before he was in any way involved in remote viewing. He was just a family-oriented businessman.  

(Now mind you, this is paraphrasing. I doubt I have every detail of his story correct and I may have elaborated a bit in my mind. But this is his story as I remember it.)

He says one day, he's in the bathroom, and he just happens to look into the mirror. Something about his face and eyes gets his attention. He continues staring just for a moment, and it begins to seem as if his face is... changing, somehow. Shifting.

At this point I interrupted excitedly, almost jumping up and down, "Wait! Wait! That happened to me too!!"  He seems surprised, but he says, "Wait, let me tell my story first, so you know it's mine, and not influenced by yours." So I agreed, tried to restrain myself, and sat down on a small stone bench.

He says during the experience, he was awed and amazed and confused, and he stared at himself as the process continued and his face changed more and more. Eventually he is looking at the face of somebody he has never seen before. Another man. A younger man. But a different man than the one who had stared out of his face until that moment.

He looked into his eyes, and he saw that the man saw him, and knew that he knew... like some kind of psychic loop.

And something spurred him to react as if it were a threat.  Whereas I had screamed and thrown myself backward, he lurched forward -- and suddenly he was looking down into a room. As if he had somehow gone THROUGH the mirror, and was now hovering near the ceiling in a room somewhere.

There was an armoire in the room. And a standing full length mirror. There was a man standing right in front of the mirror, like inches from it. It was the younger man he had seen in his face. Dark haired. Next to him and slightly behind him stood another man, a bit older, with greying hair, glasses, a very solidly built man. Just as Patrick found himself in the room, the older man was leaning out and putting his hand on the younger man's shoulder. As if the young man had reacted to Patrick's "coming through at him" or something, and the older man was steadying him.

And there were conceptuals, like I had conceptuals, awareness of the context of the people and situation. Patrick felt that this was something deliberate. This man looking into the mirror was specifically focusing on Patrick, personally, for some reason. He felt the older man was cold... ruthless. Assassin-like ruthless. He felt the younger man was really not like that. The overall impression was of a "training" scenario. Like the older guy was some kind of expert, and he was training the younger guy in how to use the mirror to tune into people.

And then Patrick was "out" of it, standing in the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror. Did he imagine it all? The visuals of the room -- they had been so REAL! Just like he was there.

He had never encountered any experience like that in his life. He had no idea what to make of it.

"Patrick" contacted me about a copy of these posts I sent him and said that the two guys did NOT know he was in the room. (Though they apparently DID know something untoward had happened during their session, and one assumes if they're that psi, they could have figured it out. But they were not aware of him watching them at the time. And he said he couldn't hear either of them -- he could only see them.)

So as I mentioned earlier, this event happened to Patrick long before he had any association with RV at all. Wasn't involved in any way. Was just a businessman minding his own business when this experience hit, and had no idea what to make of it. Was a fairly normal, healthy, happy guy.

Three weeks later he had a massive heart attack. Came very, very close to dying. After a multiple bypass operation, he was forced to partly-retire from his work at a young age, to rest. Quite understandably, he was more than a little upset at having seemed fine and then nearly dying, and not being certain how his future health was going to be was pretty frightening as well.

After some time he got interested in remote viewing. He had heard someone talking about it on the radio, and he went and got some methods training. Was very intrigued by it. Immediately began to see the potential of RV, business potentials and more. And as I mentioned in the first post, after some time he was thinking fairly seriously about investing his skill and experience into something that might contribute to the RV field, both training and applications. Something that could, actually, be the first "real" and very serious venture in the field. We had talked about what we could do to perhaps work together in some way to make this happen.

So having told each other our stories, then we had to wonder.

What are the odds this same type of experience would happen to two people?

What are the odds both of us would feel we were 'targeted,' as opposed to this just being some 'odd psychic experience?' Especially since neither of us were at all paranoid; I didn't believe such a thing existed really and he had never even considered something seemingly psychic like that back then.

Oddly, and OK, maybe this is because I am really dense, but it had never really occurred to me that this experience I had was in any way related to RV. I had so many odd -- and often "dark side" -- experiences prior to ever hearing of RV, I figured it was just another one.

But what are the odds we both would describe sensing an individual so similar, the assassin-like quality?

What are the odds that both of the individuals (us) would be fairly heavily involved (eventually) in remote viewing -- and eventually in close contact with each other?

He said he wondered... if remote viewing is not limited by time or space, might it be possible for someone in the future to look at a situation, and target the key players in that situation backward (in time)? To perhaps affect the future?

Well, from what I hear, the most commonly reported suspicion about physical remote influencing is the Soviet (and other) attempts (and demonstrations) to give an individual a heart attack. Could it be possible that he was targeted backward in time, to take him out of the future picture?

Our plans for RV took a different turn later.  He went on to provide some founding capital and leadership for an RV organization.  


Another paraphrased tidbit that I find pretty funny:

So much later, Patrick is at a professional meeting down in Southern California related to parapsychology.  This is mostly Ph.D.'s, from around the world. He sees this man sitting across the room and stops short and stares. The man is greying, very solidly built, wears glasses. Reminds him very much of the man he had seen in his experience. He is both intrigued and scared and a little creeped out.  

So he asks somebody, hey, that guy over there, he wouldn't by chance have anything to do with remote viewing would he?

And the person says, "Him? Why, that's Joe McMoneagle!"

Patrick actually walked over to him, told him the story, and ASKED him if it was him! Talk about guts!  I give him points for that. Joe laughed and said no. And on talking to him, Patrick didn't feel it was the same guy. He didn't have the same sense.  He supposed there were probably plenty of people with that general physical description.  Still...

I told Joe I thought that was just hilarious.  I kid him it's his evil twin in the nearest alternate reality.

I feel reasonably sure that if I ever meet the man I saw in my face, I will recognize him. 

There is nothing to say that these people were Americans. After all, "armoires" and standing full length mirrors are actually more common in many other countries than in this one. And much of the world looks and dresses pretty much the same as the average american.

I don't know what any of this means.

I'm just reporting what happened.


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